Self-distrust is the cause of almost all mental illness and personality disorder. Self-distrust bows the heart and turns the spirit back to stone. Self-distrust bows the heart and turns the spirit back to stone. Self-distrust bows the heart and turns the spirit back to stone.
So, how do you develop self-confidence? In fact, self-confidence is not only a self-motivation slogan, nor is it just a good feeling about yourself, it should also be a kind of operational ability. The scope of this kind of ability is very broad, include the ability of dealing with the world, language ability, learning ability, hands-on ability and so on.
People with low self-esteem are deficient in many manifestations of ability. They are often afraid of difficulties, worry about failure, negative escape, self-abasement, and even produced a variety of psychological barriers. Therefore, people with low self-esteem should consciously exercise and improve their various abilities through efforts and struggles. Struggle is the most important way to transform inferiority into confidence. However, in reality, people with low self-esteem are often difficult to enter the struggle process, so it is impossible to build confidence. Some people are afraid to enter the struggle process encounter failure, some people lack the motivation to struggle, some people lack the endurance to struggle, more some people have the concept of misunderstanding of struggle.
A young man with low self-esteem asked me a question: “People always say that you should work hard and do more things every day than others. But I doubt whether there is any point in striving at all. For example, when my friend was admitted to Tsinghua University, I felt that my life was hopeless and my life was meaningless. Cause I was the same as she was when I was little, and she‘s so much better now, and I... You will say, you can also take an examination of ah, as long as you than others work one hundred times, one thousand times, you can certainly pass the examination. But dont you think my life is so hard? Why do I have to work a hundred times harder than others, a thousand times to get others normal efforts to get things? My friend, she doesn‘t really try very hard. When she was in high school, she used to go to sleep reading until 9 o clock at night.
”I was brought up to believe that there is no limit to learning, and that diligence is the best route to learning. But what do I get? I sometimes feel unworthy of myself. Just because I don‘t have a bachelors degree, am I going to work a hundred times, a thousand times harder than them? Just because I wasn‘t born with a silver spoon in my mouth, should I work a hundred or a thousand times harder than they do? Even if I try, what will happen? Dont others work hard?“
I have often encountered doubts about this kind of struggle. Now summed up the following ”struggle is useless“ : ”I have struggled before, but in vain; The society all depends on the relation background, I struggle again what use; I am too far apart from others to struggle any more; I‘m nothing myself, Im nothing by myself...“
So what should we make of this confusion about the meaning of struggle?
First of all, struggle is not only a means to happiness, it can also be a gesture of happiness. As for the young people who have doubts about the meaning of struggle, her understanding of the true meaning of struggle has some deviation. She saw struggle as painful, as torture. For example, she mentioned that her friend who got into Tsinghua University did not work very hard. I think she probably just saw that her classmate did not study very hard, but went to college with ease and happiness. Therefore, she felt that her classmate did not struggle.
In fact, ”struggle“ is not to achieve a utilitarian purpose, it itself means passion, happiness and pride, it means harvest and gift. Such ”struggle“, can attract people always put up with all kinds of struggle.
Second, one of the reasons people are often psychologically vulnerable is to demand fairness in everything. As a result, there are many people who hold the view that ”it is of no use for me to struggle in the society based on my relationship background“. In fact, it is right to strive for equality as a human ideal, but it is childish to regard equality as a reality. Because in the real world, there is no such thing as absolute fairness. Many young people tend to grumble and complain about unfair things. Some even take ”unfair“ as an excuse for them to do nothing and escape from reality instead of working hard. As a result, they lose many opportunities to change their fate.
Third, some people always want to prove themselves. They fix their eyes on others, and they judge their own glory by whether or not they have conquered others. When others succeed, he feels he is left far behind and there is no point in struggling. Such a person, only the rich life as a purpose, that is to be better than others, more successful than others.
In fact, the most important purpose of life is to develop yourself through hard work and struggle. The development of their own people often based on their own career, the establishment of a suitable for their own goals. Instead of judging their achievements by the likes and dislikes of the outside world, they enjoy their own struggles while enriching and improving themselves. In the process of developing themselves, they consider whether what they are doing is suitable for them, whether they are interested in it and whether it has value. Naturally, because they have goals that are different from others and suitable for themselves, they do not have the annoyance and inferiority feeling of falling behind others absolutely and struggling to keep up with others.
In real life, many people with low self-esteem, often along this line of thought to consider the problem: ”because I can‘t → so I dont do → I really can‘t!“ . If you can change to: ”Because I cant - so I will redouble my efforts - take action - I am getting better and better!“ I firmly believe that he will be able to get out of the quagmire of inferiority in the long road of life, leaving a solid footprint.
A man‘s destiny lies in his soul and in his actions. Therefore, the key to eliminate self-abasement lies in the recognition of self-abasement, the recognition of their own lack of ability, but not willing to self-abasement. By their own actions to establish their own unique value of life. To live, we must struggle, otherwise, life will be difficult to transcend and sublimation.
Change a kind of train of thought, can be broad sky certainly!
